Part 1/12 - When Achievements Don’t Satisfy

There is a moment in many leaders’ lives when achievement continues to rise - but satisfaction does not.

Nothing is visibly wrong.
The business is growing.
Revenue is increasing.
Opportunities are expanding.
The external markers all point upward.

And yet, internally, something feels unsettled.

This was happening to me long before I understood it.

In my mid-twenties, I left employment because I felt held back. I believed I had more to give. I began building work on the side, evenings and weekends. Gradually, it grew.

What started in a bedroom became a shared office in Manchester.
Shared space became a city-centre office.
Project work evolved into retainers.
I hired.
We expanded.
We worked with leading UK brands and eventually worldwide brands.
I began speaking publicly.
The marketing strategy gained traction.
Revenue compounded.

On the outside, it looked like steady, disciplined entrepreneurial growth.

At home, life appeared equally strong.

Married.
Three daughters.
A larger home.
Better cars.
Increasing financial flexibility.

By every external measure, it was a life many would aspire to build.

Nothing was collapsing.
Nothing was obviously broken.

And yet, for five years before the eventual life collapse in 2019, I was already seeking help.

Therapy.
Conversations.
Insight.

I knew something was not right - even while everything looked right.

It did not matter which brand we were working with.
It did not matter which stage I was invited to speak on.
It did not matter what level of income or flexibility the business created.

I did not have inner peace.

Achievement was increasing.
Fulfilment was not.

There was a quiet dissatisfaction that no milestone resolved.
A restlessness that no external success could quiet.

And at the time, I did not yet understand why.